I'm going to write about doors. Opening them, to be exact. There is an unbelievable amount of door variations in Sweden, along with unending variations on how to open said doors. For those of you who live in the country, you may have never noticed these two little facts, but I promise you it's true.
Home doors are pretty self explanatory in Sweden. They tend to open and close in the same direction no matter what house you're at, for the most part. Where it gets tricky is when you visit a business. That's where you'll need to put on your puzzling hat.
A door seems like a simple mechanism. Open it and walk through. Alas, this is exactly where Sweden messes with your mind.
As you approach the door, you have to examine it to determine how it will open or how it will move. Will you open it manually or will it open on its own? Once you've gotten to the door, will you need to push on it or pull on it? You might also need to press a button while opening the door at the same time. Or maybe you'll have to turn and hold the lock as you exit. Do you need a code to open it? If it's a rotating door, will you need to rotate it manually by hand or will it rotate automatically?
You may think this is funny and it is.
If you ever go to Sweden, stand back and watch people try to get out of a door. They'll pull and it won't budge. Then, they'll push and it won't move. Third, they'll try to hit the little button while exiting and maybe it might work. If they're lucky, it's an automatic door, but that still doesn't make it much easier.
In all circumstances, it's a riot to watch.
If you come across an automatic door, it might not open if you approach it too quickly. It won't register your movement fast enough and you will be frighteningly close to smashing your face directly into the glass. I've seen it happen and have almost done it myself. On that occasion, an older gentleman saw me and let me know I had to walk to the door slowly before it would open. He gave me an "Ah, those youth! Always rushing!" look, then he took pity on me and demonstrated the proper procedure for exiting. I'm impressed he didn't break out into hysterical laughter as he watched me nearly break through the door. Kudos.
On this trip, the door mishaps were abundant. Here are three for your enjoyment.
Mishap #1: The Expressen door was automatic. It let Jessi through without a problem, but Anja ended up being stuck between two glass panels of the rotating door. She became a rotating door prisoner for a minute. The door was automatic and rotating, but it needed a code to let people through and the code expired while Anja was on her way through the door. We took the manual door the second time around. Much safer.
Mishap #2: Jenny, Jessi, Anja, and I were walking around in the hotel after the Förkväll TV show was over and we were looking for an exit. We rounded a corner and came face to face with a solid glass panel. We stood there for a few seconds ruminating over whether this was in fact an exit. You think that sounds strange but, like I said, this is Sweden and the doors mess with your mind. If doors confound the native Swedes, it will completely throw everyone else for a loop. And I secretly think the Swedes like it this way.
Mishap #3: Jessi, Anja, Anna, and I tried to exit the Mimers Hus building and couldn't get out on that first try. We tried to open the door manually using the handle, yet it wouldn't budge. We looked closer and read a sign on the door that told us to hit a certain button if we were there past opening hours. Sure, just one problem. Where is the button?? Halfway across the room. Nearly. We found the button and gave a little victory cheer as the door opened automatically.
If you're going to Sweden, you will need some assistance with this door thing. So I present to you a few examples, along with a quiz to help you study. Grab a piece of paper and write down your answers to see how well you do.
Question # 1: The door above. Is it manual or automatic?
Question #2: Open with button or lock?
Question #3: Manual or automatic?
Question #4: Key or code?
Question #5: Manual or automatic?
Question #6: Door or no door?
Question #7: A train door. Wait for the conductor to open it or open it yourself?
Question #8: Locked or unlocked?
Question #9: Push or pull to open? (Swedes, this one is a freebie!)
Question #10: What kind of door do these buttons belong to?
Answers:
1. Automatic. It tricks you at first. You think it's a manual but it's one of those that doesn't open until you get nearly right on top of it.
2. This one opens with a button. You'll find them in a lot of places. Note the white sticker that tells you which way the door opens.
3. Not exactly a full fledged door, although you'll find these contraptions in any supermarket after you enter the outer door. It's automatic.
4. This one leads to several residences. You'll use a code to get in this door.
5. The door leading to the hostel. It has a handle but it's an automatic door.
6. This looks suspiciously like a wall. Guess what? It's not. It's a door. A solid glass door that slides. See why we were debating at the hotel whether the glass panel was a door or not? You just don't know.
7. This particular train door is opened by you. Just press the little green button and the door whooshes open. Some train doors are opened by the conductor only.
8. This door is locked. It has an emergency handle on it and a zip tie to keep it shut when not needed.
9. You will push on this door to open it. Tryck means push. If you see "Drag", that means you'll pull on the door.
10. This is the panel for the bathroom door on the train. You have to open the door from the outside, then close the door from the inside. The third button is to lock the door while you're inside. And finally, you'll hit the open button to get back out. And if you don't know Swedish, I hope you're good at guessing.
Each question is worth 10 points. On a two part answer, if you only got one part right, give yourself 5 points.
0-25: You should probably stay away from Sweden, or at least be ready to spend some time in the hospital fixing your broken nose.
26-49: You might want to grab a local and ask for advice before you attempt to open any doors.
50-75: You're doing pretty well, although you will want to watch out for those tricky doors.
76-100: You're an expert. How long have you been living in Sweden again?
Some extra pictures:
When you have to write instructions in both the native language and a second language, you know this is a typical problem. This sign was posted at the tourist center in Karlstad. The entrance was a manual revolving door you had to push yourself. The exit was an automatic revolving door you shouldn't push. That's where this sign was posted. One building, two different doors. That's precisely why they had to put instructions on it.
The ubiquitous button you will find on several doors. You have to press it and open the door at the same time. Not easy when you have something in your hands. I think pressing this button and exiting gracefully should be elevated to a national sport in Sweden.
Looks easy enough and it is! It's a plain old automatic door.
Another door with Tryck posted - in two languages.
This looks pretty straightforward. Candy inside! They mess with you though. This door is locked. The real entrance is a little ways down the street. They beckon to you with the candy sign and when you try to get to the godis, you find out the door is locked and you'll have to find another way in. Those rascals!
Here you will see the incredible sliding glass panel in action. That hulking piece of glass is actually a door. I would never have known this was a door because, frankly, I don't assume a monstrous glass panel several feet high is actually a door in disguise. I saw someone walk into the store and it was only at that point I realized this was the main entrance into the store.
You have now been schooled in the fine art of door opening in Sweden.
Class dismissed.
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